FRUSTATIONS AND HOPE

Hi there just something special for you

It's been a year since the storm hit, I look back and it hurts a lot, memories of many heart ships and frustrations.  Trying to go through another day as best as possible.  Heart ships kept coming and going making it impossible to be positive and cheerful.  When things seemed to be in place, more heart ships appear destroying all hope of peace of mind.  I stumbled in the middle of all this frustration with a group of 7 young men whom sing in a language I don't understand but for some reason they make me happy.  So I became fund of them and learned more about their songs and them as well. 

I've learned the power of love.  It can make things change for the best. But sometimes, it doesn't work for everyone. The heart ships are still there and continue, I wish they were gone.  Though, I can't make space for hate, nor bad wishes or other bad feelings.  I need to think, I'm not so young any more.  I have a life, a husband and a son that love me and I love them.  Therefore, I must do my best to survive and overcome these heart ships even if I don't want to accept certain things on which I do not agree with.

Here is how I feel most of the time lately these days;

REACH HIGH

No matter how close to the edge I might be,
it will not kill the strength within me,
it will only diminish the weakness,
and increase the ability of survival.

Transforming solitud into glory,
and given the gift of flying high, up to the sky,
fighting for freedom,, love and peace,
wishing to be in nobodys feast.

Daring to reach the highest infinity,
and not to be seen,
playing with the stars, like a child at the beach
and be freely me.

Though wish I could transport my soul,
to the times when being part of nature,
was common and fresh,
to the winds of magic and wonder,
to the hearts of fairys and dreams.

Perhaps then the edge will no longer be an edge,
and my wings will flap as hard and gentle,
as the wind blows underneath them feathers,
allowing nature to carry me.

WRDL 2000

PD:  Most of the time I feel very lost and lonely, weak and nobody.  All I want to do is cry for hours until I'm tired.  I want to believe in hope, even though I survived cancer, but things have not been working so well for me lately and end up giving up on everything...